[Ready or Not]

my heart loves adventure.
loves packing.
loves traveling.
loves *going* places and meeting new people.

last weekend i got to travel... for 6 days straight.
it was a *little* stressful, but i loved it. every minute of it.

and my heart is overwhelmed with happiness right now, because in about [12-ish] hrs, i get to travel again.
this time, with two *AMAZING* girls who do *AMAZING* things!
actually... i only know one of them... but from what i know of the other one, it's gunna be like we've always known each other <3 <3

i'm SO excited.

granny Ruthie is one of the most enthusiastic, encouraging, crazy, most-Blondie, passionate ppls i've EVER met/talked to! and she's coming back to Taiwan... and *i* get to see her! how wild is that?

and she's bringing her friend, Maddie - who seems beyond awesome as well (so excited to meet this face whom i've only seen/talked to over FB)!!

seriously, back in september-ish, when we "talked" about her possibly coming out, i never thought that God would actually LET THIS HAPPEN!! it's fabulous!

God has seriously been amazing me *constantly* these past few weeks.
He gives me more than i could ask for.
He arranges my life perfectly...
HE IS SOOO GOOD!!

::sigh::

so yeeesh... adventure starts tomorrow.

9 days traveling over as much of Taiwan as possible (or, at least making as many memories as possible in every town that we land in)!

hmm.... 9 days seems too short. really hoping that it doesn't "fly by"...

and SUPER glad these girls love coffee as much as i do
(much coffee = little sleep = more adventures)

wow... i am WAY too excited... it's about 3am right now cuz i can't sleep (coffee at 12am doesn't really help) and i'm not picking them up from the airport until 10pm tonight. dumb :P

yesh... now i am rambling. sad.

oh, and for the record i will not be online/checking emails/FB for the next 9 days as well... so if you NEED to get ahold of me, try my cell phone! (but, as rumor has it... i usually don't keep my cell phone on me, so don't expect to get ahold of me regardless) :P

okay... i'll probably have lots and LOTS to talk about in a few days... (unlike my ramblings right now)

but prayer requests:
- safe travels!
- being a BLESSING to those ppls i come in contact with
- remembering my "Chinese Language skills" (or lack thereof)
- for my team - getting proper rest during this "vacation" and coming back to our 2nd semester fully rested and rejuvenated!
- sleep  - i haven't been getting very good rest... and it's making my days rather difficult
- FUTURE PLANS... i'm taking steps in various directions... but i have a feeling i will have to choose very soon... which scares me. i just want God's best... but right now, "God's best" looks like 5 different options... all at once. [sigh]


Happy February to y'alls! have a great first few weeks ~ i'll be back to keep y'all posted on happenings in Taiwan in no time :)

Lots of Love <3 <3

[Chinese] New Years Resolutions

Soo... i realized around January 15 that i forgot to make "New Years Resolutions" for this year (2011).

darn.

Thus camille, not to be outdone by time, is being creative and starting her "new year" w/ Asia... and going to do a "[Chinese] New Years Resolution" list :) :)

however, camille does NOT like those "daily goals" (cuz she always fails after day #3 and then gives up for the rest of the year). so we're gunna get a little more creative....

here's the list of things which camille wishes to accomplish within the year of the Rabbit (year 2011):

1. get a closer relationship w/ the Lord.
2. go skydiving (almost did last year...)
3. going to hand-make something (like a scarf, hat, ____??)
4. going to do 5 5K's and get my time under 25minutes
5. going to do one half marathon
6. NOT going to do a full marathon... just thought i should throw that in there.
7. going to take more time to get to know my friends 1:1
8. going to spend more quality time w/ my siblings
9. going to ride in one [horse] gaming show
10. going to get solid A's in all of my classes this fall (Lord willing and i end up going to school)
11. go water skiing
12. do a [sprint] triathlon (possible with two other people... that's good enough for me) :)
13. go somewhere randomly w/o telling anyone where i'm going/what i'm going to do
14. road trip w/ a friend (or two) for 4 days
15. go on a MISSIONS TRIP (somewhere other than Taiwan, cuz to me, this is HOME) <3
16. hug a child who doesn’t know love

17. go up in a Hot Air Balloon
18. go to New York
19. regain Joy
20. start learning a new language (...or "finish" learning Spanish)
21. be able to hold a long conversation in Chinese

Bible Verse for this year:

"Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" - Hebrews 11:1

Quote for this year:"If you are at the place in your life where you feel like you can't take one step without the Lord's help, BE GLAD. He has you where he wants you." - Stormie Omartian

**yes, i did steal some of these idea's from Joelle W.  - you're an inspiration to me, girl <3

i figure since i'm turning 21 this year, that this is a long enough list... for now. believe me, there are many, MANY things i want to add to this (and probably will end up doing so). i'm actually more excited for this new year than i have been for any new year in the past! i believe that God is going to do crazy amazing things w/in this next year and i can't wait to see what that's gunna be!!!

Lots of Love <3 <3

the unknown chapter

people who know me know that i'm not too fond of reading.
the reason being that i find that a majority of the stories are far too predictable.
the paths may vary here and there, but after reading the first chapter, you can basically skip to the last chapter and get the whole jist of the story... (it's true).

::sigh::

i really wish that my life story were that simple.

people who know me, also know that i've had my life planned out since i was 6.
i was going to go to college for 4 years to get my nursing degree.
work in the USA for a little bit to gain some field experience.
and then i was going to move to Asia (India) and work in various orphanages/hospitals over there until I died.

that was my life. and i was so passionate about all of it, that i was sure that it was totally God's will and it was going to happen!

Early Summer 2007 happened, and I ended up in Taiwan for a year.
BEST YEAR EVER.

in fact, it was so good that for a while i thought that i'd be coming back for a second year.

but college and nursing was still important to me... and so was my family... so i went back stateside.

went to BU... which ended up being a smart, yet extremely stupid decision...
many good things happened at BU - meet some amazing friends, got more involved in music, great professors, awesome roomies, etc.
but BU had downsides too... like being overly priced (by a TON of money), had a few "bad crowds" of ppls, and even though it was a "christian college"... i ended up loosing sight of God ... and my passion for my future.

i got to the point where i had no idea where to go/what to do w/ my life anymore...

so i went back to the last place where GOD was REAL for me...

 i went back to Taiwan.

not gunna lie... this year (past 5 months) has been HARD.

i've cried
i've attempted to eat chocolate, cuz it's supposed to make one "feel better" (that's a lie. it doesn't work)
i've past many sleepless nights
i've downed coffee to stay awake for classes
i've argued and "fought" with God (kind of impossible to fight w/ someone who made the whole universe... just sayin)
i've been done... and have literally sat down w/ God asking Him WHAT my purpose here is

I WANT TO SEE THE ENDING!! NOW!!!

... sometimes i feel like He just likes keeping me in suspense...

however... in these past two weeks, i've come to realize a really simple fact... one that made my heart break...

what happens in the middle is just as important as what happens in the end.

my life is a book. and it's being written... slowly, but surely.
and sadly enough, this is not a book that i can just "skim the beginning" and then jump to the end.
this is a lifelong process.
and i can't expect all of it to just fall into place.
i want a happy ending.
but that's not going to happen if i don't push myself toward that.
yes... crappy things have happened to this "book" in the past.
but many, MANY good things have happened to.

honestly... a thought that has been constantly triggering in my mind these past few weeks was this, "if tomorrow was the "last chapter" of your book... how would it end? in other words, where am i in life right now? am i satisfied w/ who i am? if not, what am i going to do to change that? what do i want my life to say about me? what have i done to end w/ a "bang"? and why wait? why not change NOW?

 ...cuz who knows... tomorrow might just bring about the end chapter.

(ramblings of a tired camille... please forgive me if this made no sense)

Lots of Love <3

It Happens in 6 Days

...it started by ending with a GREAT week with AWESOME KIDS!!!

There was so much laughter that week.

singing random chinese songs.

dancing in the halls.

early morning classes that revolved around coffee.

lots of smiles.

amazing hugs.

basically, they were really precious children.

Kind of hard to say Goodbye to all of them a day early...

 

So, week [whatever number] was great. but i had a flight to catch at noon, so i had to leave early on friday morning. that meant i couldn't be there for the kids' graduating ceremony. dumb!

ah well... mmmm... where to start.

Almost cried when my alarm clock went off at 5am on friday morning...

walked through the down pouring rain to find a taxi.

got to the train station and waited for the first train for 30 min.

(1st cup of coffee inserted into my system at this point)

got on the *slow* train... (literally... it stopped at EVERY platform/train stop)

on which i traveled on for about an hr to TaiChung (or somewhere around there)

got to the HSR (high speed rail), for which i traveled on for 30 min to Taoyuan.

took a bus from the HSR station to the airport.

walked from terminal 1 (check in) over to terminal 2 (where my flight would take off)

I WAS 3HRS EARLY FOR MY FLIGHT.

lol.

the airport was literally empty and i was the first one to check into my flight.

nice :)

Thank the Lord for Wi-fi @ the Taoyuan airport!

That was a really long (and BEAUTIFUL) airplane ride!

I love the vroom of the jets right before the plane takes off... it's like, everything is going slow/quietly... then there's like this under pressure/deep growling noise and it instantly gets your heart racing cuz you KNOW what follows that... the airplane gets faster and faster and you wonder if it's EVER going to get off the ground... and then it does. and it's amazing. lol. couldn't help but relate it to when i was a "gamer" (on horses)... getting through those gates... waiting... waiting... and then taking off and feeling like the world was yours to own! lol... yeah. that might have been a stretch ;)

Anywho.. got to the Tokyo airport... waited for my luggage at the WRONG baggage claim... for 40 minutes. DUMB! but, in my defense, it TOTALLY said "from Taiwan to Tokyo"... i just didn't see that it was for a different airline... :P

And then the moment arrived... I GOT A HUG FROM APRIL!!! :D

::sigh::

Soo.... then we headed over to there college/dorm/place-where-we-would-sleep. however, we had to navigate through the millions and MILLIONS of trains. wow... I thought the MRT's in Taiwan were confusing, but we've only got about 6... Tokyo has about 60!! it's ridiculous! and so cool! ...and one thing you should know: no one (NO ONE!!) talks on the trains... which means someone should tell camille this stuff next time before camille starts rambling on and on  and on about absolute nothingness :P

Well, the next 2 days were a blur.... we walked EVERYWHERE... train-ed everywhere... ate lots of food... met some pretty awesome (and random) ppls, and basically LOVED it. It was very "Americanized", so... idk. I really wish i would've seen the more rural parts of Tokyo, but with only 3 days on my hands... and a curfew... there was only so much i could do ~ and it was really nice to see some other Americans/friends/APRIL as well <3 it was a much needed time away :)

Anywho... left Tokyo around 10am on sunday morning

got back to Taiwan around 5pm

Iris (Grandma) picked me up around 6-ish and we went out for dinner (hot pot = YUUMMM!!!)

then i took a train from Taoyuan ------> Taipei

met up with the rest of the crew (Jo, Yellow, Blanche, Joyce, and Jenny)

took the MRT over to Jenny's house

got to share a spot (and a blanket) on the floor w/ Jo (comfy nights right there!)

woke up at 7am to go to the flora expo

walked around ALL DAY

bought LARGE coffee's at 2 different starbucks coffee's... and one i had to wait in line for 15min for...

and then another 30 min before it was ready. SO WORTH IT!!

took lots of pictures

went back and fell asleep at 8:30pm... and woke up at 2am... and was WIDE AWAKE!

dumb.

(note to self: do NOT go to bed before midnight. ever!)

the next morning consisted of coffee.

the end.

lol.... wait. no...

it consisted of camille thinking she was absolutely STUPID for bringing a 40lbs of luggage for a 6 days trip! and then having to haul it ALL OVER ASIA.

dang, i've got one big right arm bicep now... ;)

[hehehehe]

Anywho... we woke up at 7am (again) and camile slept-walked to the MRT station... where we went to the OTHER side of Taipei... and then walked for 20 min over to our hotel.

(**yes, i have blisters on my hand... just fyi)

When we got to the hotel, i was instantly flooded with memories...

we TOTALLY had our TESOL retreat there back in 2008!!!

weird.

well, the rest of that day consisted of lectures (in 2 languages), getting to know the other ppls who we were "working with" (yet, on other ends of the country, so we never see them), food, COFFEE, and lots of laughter and good fellowship!

went swimming that night.

dang... i didn't know i could swim, but i did! And after doing several laps, i felt AMAZING!

(new goal: look for a pool that is close to my school!)

stayed up waaaaay too late that night... but i was chatting w/ my best friend, so it was all good ;)

woke up early.

sat through more lectures.

walked around more of Taipei w/ the rest of my teammates (and my bags).

and finally... got on the train back to Douliou.

i was so stinkin excited to go back to familiar ground/get unpacked...

it felt like i was going home :'-)

::sigh::

Soooo.... that was my last 6-ish days in a nutshell.

Can't wait to tell y'all what God's doing in my life...

but it's time for a team meeting and so that'll have to wait for later today ~

Keep me in your prayers. God's doing great things... which means the devil is totally working overtime to make my life a whole lot harder... o_O

Love y'all much <3

ps. below are some various/random pictures that were taken throughout the past week. I'm too lazy to put them in order, so enjoy :)

Cuz i can't Thank You enough

What can I do for You?
What can I bring to You?
What kind of song would you like me to sing?

'Cause I'll dance a dance for You
Pour out my love to You
What can I do for You beautiful king?

'Cause I... can't thank You enough.
I can't thank You enough
What can I do for You?
What can I bring to You?
What kind of song would you like me to sing?

'Cause I'll dance a dance for You
Pour out my love to You
What can I do for You beautiful king?

'Cause I... can't thank You enough.
I can't thank You enough
All of the words that I find... and I can't thank You enough.
No matter I try... I can't thank You enough.
Then I hear You sing to me

"you... don't have to do a thing
Just simply be with me and let those things go
'Cause they can wait another minute

Wait... this moment is too sweet
Would you please stay here with Me
And love on Me a little longer"

I hear You say...
"You... don't have to do a thing
Just simply be with me and let those things go
'Cause they can wait another minute

Wait... this moment is too sweet
Would you please stay here with Me
And love on Me a little longer
I'd love to be with you a little longer
'Cause I'm in love with you(listen via YOUTUBE)


Over the last 48 hrs, i've been completely and utterly in awe of how amazing our God's LOVE is...
we do stupid things. we say the wrong thing. we don't take time to be genuine with people. we forgive and remember. we say we love someone... and end up hurting them the worst...  and yet, even after it's all said and done, we have the privilege of coming before an awesome God *still* chooses to LOVE US! ...that's pretty amazing.

yeah, so we had a friend (AlAna) come over for the weekend/these past few days. She came as a missions trip to observe and "report" what us English Teachers are doing over here in Taiwan. We all had to "act normal" while she walked around and took pictures... oh! and then we had to do an "interview" - man! i do hate public speaking, even if it is only in front of a camera (er... *required* public speaking... cuz, as many of us know, i do enjoy talking just for the fun of it... just, not when it's required) :P So yeah, I'm pretty sure i stuttered my way through the whole 2minute interview.... but oh well.

actually, it kind of sparked my thinking (again)... why am i here? if i were to ask this question, i'm sure that some ppls label me as a "missionary"... some label me as a "teacher" (that's still a foreign concept to me... ), and some label me "an uncertain girl with an uncertain future who's going to taiwan to escape having to make a choice in reality" (...okay, so maybe i'm the only one who labels me that... but i'm sure it's crossed some other ppls minds). yeah, so i've been thinking and asking myself... "camille, WHY are you here in Taiwan" and oh man, *I* could list a million-and-two reasons that i'm here: the children! the people/co-workers! the love that is felt all over Taiwan (i swear, this country has more love in it than all of America put together!)!i'm here because i know and can see God in a whole new light while i'm here... and it's BEAUTIFUL! i came this year, not only hoping to love taiwan and her peoples... but also to rediscover WHO God is... and what He wants me to do with my life!

 I love taiwan with passion. and my heart will always be here.

and I know I will end up permanently... eventually.

so here's to the future: bring what you want, cuz MY future is in my Father's hands!

Lots of Love to y'alls!! <3 <3

Daniel 4:35

"All the inhabitants of the earth are reputed as nothing;
He does according to His will in the army of heaven
And among the inhabitants of the earth.
No one can restrain His hand
Or say to Him, 'What have You done?' "

i serve a HUGE God.

as i continue to seek God's will for my future (or at least, this next year), i am taken aback... here i worry about tomorrow and what this next year is going to hold... yet, i am just a SMALL part in this HUGE production called LIFE! Nebuchachadnezzar had it sooo right when he said we are NOTHING... all of us ppls (good and bad) cannot move God... sooo it's not about me... yet how often i finding myself acting like it is... **tsk, tsk to self**

Aaaanywho, those are some random points i got from my devotion this morning :)

THIS IS GOING TO BE A GREAT NEXT FEW WEEKS... starting today :D


Yes, we've had some really *good* weeks over the past few months... but these next few months are going to FLY by!!! We are going to be going and going over the next 4-ish months. and my weeks just look packed! and that makes me so excited!!! This week we have an amazing group of kids (yes, it is still Monday morning, but i can already tell we're gunna have a good week!)! and on Friday morning, I LEAVE FOR JAPAN!!! i am so excited! i get to see April Walker (my amazing roomie/really awesome friend from BU) and we're going to hang for 3 days!! ya know how needed that its? I just love how God planned that out... putting one of my close friends in my life during the 1/2 point of my year... to encourage me to finish strong!! So amazing, Lord. so amazing!! Oh... and then we're gunna be spending (most of) next week up in Taipei for training and adventuring around the city w/the other CEI teams! really excited about that!

AND THEN TO TOP IT OFF(!!!)

my "granny" Ruthie Hug is COMING TO TAIWAN... for TEN DAYS!!! She and her friend (Madeleine) are coming over Feb. 1st and we are going to travel and explore Taiwan like no one ever has before!! we're staying w/ friends, eating all sorts of adventuresome foods, and living life to it's fullest!! ::sigh:: words cannot express my happiness as i anticipate these glorious events!! ;D

after that we are back to weeks upon weeks of teaching!! goodness... i've only got 5months left here... i feel like i've been here for a lifetime already (in a good way!!), but it's all gone by so fast... and i'm still not so sure that i want this to be over :(

God is going to have to do some major work in my heart over these next few weeks, because right now... i am playing it "comfortable" and *not* choising whether to go back to MN or stay in Taiwan. but... i think that's ok. because God knows what's happening next year... and when the time comes, He'll make everything fall into it's proper place. of this, I AM SURE!!

Love y'alls!

going from Good to Great

"GOOD IS THE ENEMY OF GREAT. And that is one of the key reasons why we have so little that becomes great. We don't have great schools, principally because we have good schools. We don't have great government, principally because we have good government. Few people attain great lives, in large part because it is just so easy to settle for a good life. The vast majority of organizations never become great, precisely because the vast majority become quite good-and that is the main problem.Those who built the good-to-great companies, however, made as much use of "stop doing" lists as "to do" lists. They displayed a remarkable discipline to unplug all sorts of extraneous junk."
- Jim Collins

So Happy New Year to Y'alls!

So sorry it's been so long since i've updated this thing... sadly enough, I've been finding it easier to update facebook (plus i know more peoples check fb than they do my blog) :P

Lots has happened since last blog... and lots more is going to happen within these next few weeks/months. it's a little overwhelming...

[breathe in] [breathe out]

this past month has been ooper challenging as i've been watching and experiencing God pulling me back to himself in a deeper way than before. i feel a passion for my life coming back again and it's exciting! funny, actually... because i look back to when i started this blog and i see such a passion in everything. and i had to wonder... where did i lose my passion? where did i lose my "goal"? ... honestly, i don't think that it was just gone in a day... i think things just built up over time, and instead of relying on my faith, i gave up. [sigh] words cannot describe how grateful i am to be back in Taiwan... taking a time of refreshment away from the world that i get so "comfortable" in and re-evaluating my life. this week has been especially helpful for this because my team has been going through The Global Leadership Summit video series and it's blown my mind!

**side note inserted here: if you need convincing that this is really as good as i say it is, take a look at this website and click on the 2010 Highlights - it's really inspirational**

So yeah... anyways... there has been a TON in these videos... like, mind-thinking overload. Seriously going to watch some of them over again (and actually take notes this time) :P One thing that really jumped out to me in this last one (featuring Jim Collins) was when he was giving his speech on "level 5 leaders" and how to attain that. but he had a good point... he mentioned how people can live like they are level 5 leaders on the outside... but they aren't fully living to that potential because their heart isn't in it... [[bwaooooong goes the gong inside of my head]] ouch. how often do i find myself pretending to be excellent... and doing amazing things... and yet, my heart isn't in it. is it supposed to be and i'm just not letting it? or are those the times when i've been in the wrong area of work?

::sigh::

i'm gunna stop myself here, mainly cuz i know that i need to re-watch these video's again (sooo much info... gosh!)

oh!! and here's a quick review of what's gone on these past few weeks:

*taught some amazing weeks of kids. *got to sleep in on new years day. *talked to my little sister (abbi) on skype like 3 times!! *got a letter from my boyfriend, Dean - actually, he's one of my students... but he's my precious little guy too <3

PRAYER REQUEST!!!

* that I glorify God in EVERYTHING that I say/do!!!!!!!

* for the kids/program - that we would be able to get across to each child what they need to hear and how they need to hear it

* for REST (lately i've been running on 4hrs of sleep per night... mainly my own fault, but still...)

* for a desire for God's word - it's so easy to forget how amazing that time is when it's just me+my Jesus... :)

* FUTURE PLANS/DECISIONS: too many choices! and all are amazing (kind of wishing God would close some doors in this case...). between going to college in the States/ going to college in Taiwan/coming back for another year of teaching... {{sigh}} i'm thinking i might just put up a poll on FB and let my friends decide this one for me. LOL. kidding... But seriously, be praying for me because i know there are many good opportunities... and maybe i'm not meant to be doing any of these this fall... so whatever happens, i just want it to be God's Will.... not mine <3

Love y'alls <3

"If you'll hold on to me for dear life," says God, "...I'll give you the best of care if you'll only get to KNOW and TRUST ME." -Psalms 91:14-16 (the Message)