“I Will Wait…for You”

So it seemed, that it was cool, for everyone to be in a relationship but me..

So I took matters into my own hands… and ended up with him

Him who displayed the characteristics of a CHEATER, a LIAR, an ABUSER, & a THEIF

So.. why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?

I called 911, but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting,

Cause it was ME who let him in…

Claiming we were “just friends”..

It was already decided for me by the first date, that even if he wasn’t!

I was gonna make him ‘The One’..

You know… I was tired of being alone,

And I simply made up in my mind, that it was about that time so I decided to drag him along for the ride,

Cause I was always the bridesmaid & never the bride..

A virgin in the physical, but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat!

Who was tired of the wait!

So I was gonna make him ‘The One’.

He had a… form of Godliness… but not much..

But hey, hey I can change him! So (honey) I’ll TAKE him, I mean he’s close… enough

Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter, not knowing the value of its use to me

Arties so clogged with MY will, it blocked HIS Will from flowing through me

So, I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart an attack,

That flatlined my obscured vision, put me flat on my back

Through my ignorance He sawed,

Through my sternum He sawed & cracked open my chest

TO transplant Psalm 51:10

A new heart & a renewed right spirit within!

So now I fully understand,

Better yet I thoroughly comprehend,

How much I NEED to wait… for You.

See, the bad thing is that I knew he wasn’t you from the beginning..

Cause in the beginning was the Word

And he didn’t even sound or shine like Your Son

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,

And all he could whisper was sweet, empty nothings –

Which meant NOTHING.

He couldn’t even pray when I NEEDED him to

Asking him to fast would be absurd!

So forget about being cleansed & washed with water through the Word…

But I know You.. ♥

You were already praying for me

Even never having met me

Let me assure you, I will wait for you.

I will no longer date, socialize or communicate with carbon copies of you

To appease my boredom or to quench my thirstiness I have for attention

And short-lived compliments from ‘sorta kindas’.

You know…. He ‘sort kinda’ right, but ‘sorta kinda’ wrong?

His first name LUKE,

His last name WARM.

I, I won’t settle for false companionship

I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms,

Attempting to find some closeness,

But never feeling so far apart cause, I just wanna be held

Cause ♫”all I gotta do is Say” No!

NO more ‘almost sessions’ of ‘almost coming close’

Passing winks & buying drinks,

I’ma, I’ma, I’ma flirt!♫

Who flirts with the ideology of,

‘Can you just tell me how much I can get away with & still be saved?’

NO more.

I’ll stay in my bed… alone, and write poems, about how I will wait for you 

He won’t even come close,

Our fingers won’t even interlock

We won’t even exchange breath

Cause I have thoughts that I’ve ‘saved as’ in a file that God has only equipped you to open.

I will no longer get weighted down,

From so-called friends & family talks,

About the concern for my biological clock

When I serve the Author of Time.

Who is NOT subject to time,

But I’M subject to Him,

He has the ability to STOP, FAST FORWARD, PAUSE, or REWIND at any given time…

So if we could role play,

You would be Abraham & I would be Sara

Or you can be Isaac & I can be Rebecca – a servant’s answered prayer

I am bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh,

Made up of your rib Adam!

And once we meet, like electrons

I will be bound to your nucleus, completely indivisible atom.

We even speak the same math: 1 + 1 + 1 = 3, which really equals 1 if you add Him.

We were all created in His image,

But you have the ability to reflect, project & even detect the Son.

If I were to explain what you looked like,

You would have to look like a star,

A son of the Son..

I would gain energy simply from the light on me.

I would need you , in order to complete my photosynthesis

I await your revelation, but once again from the genesis, I will wait for you ♥

And I will know you… because when you speak I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,

Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,

Your faith will remind me of Abraham,

Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,

Your inspiration will remind me of Paul,

Your heart for God will remind me of David,

Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,

Your integrity will remind me of Joseph,

And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,

But Your ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of Christ.

But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews or any special Marks,

Cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.

And you will know me, and you will find me,

Where… the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.

Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary,

Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna.

I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… waiting for you.

But to my Father, my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth

Only if you should see fit…

I desire Your will above mine,

So even if you call me to a life of singleness,

My heart is content with YOU – the One who was sent.

YOU are the greatest love story ever told,

The greatest story ever known

You are forever my judge & I’m forever Your witness

And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business

Oh, I will always be Yours!

And I will always wait for You Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning…

More than the watchmen wait for the morning… I WILL WAIT ♥

“I Will Wait…for You” — Janette Ikz

(watch in on Youtube HERE)

So... my amazing and dear friend (Kimchee) sent this link to me today and i just though i'd pass it on to y'all cuz it's just that good!! :) :)  Enjoy.... <3 <3

Love y'all lots <3 <3

the beauty of grace

The Prodigal 

by Sovereign Grace Music

You held out Your arms, I walked away

Insolent, I spurned Your face

Squandering the gifts You gave to me

Holding close forbidden things

Destitute, a rebel still, a fool in all my pride

The world I once enjoyed is death to me

No joy, no hope, no life

Where now are the friends that I had bought

Gone with every penny lost

What hope could there be for such as I

Sold out to a world of lies

Oh, to see Your face again, it seems so distant now

Could it be that You would take me back

A servant in Your house

You held out Your arms, I see them still

You never left, You never will

Running to embrace me, now I know

Your cords of love will always hold

Mercy’s robe, a ring of grace

Such favor undeserved

You sing over me and celebrate

The rebel now Your child

(take a listen HERE)

This was just a random song that i happened to stumble upon while procrastinating on Facebook.

i didn't think it' d be as powerful as it was.

i cried. it is beautiful.

and so true... 

God's grace never ceases to amaze me.... and bring me back to my knees.

in fact, Jo was talking to us just this morning about how we are loved by God.... for NO REASON.

seriously.... how does my mind grasp such a concept? 

why would God love us? someone so undeserving of anything and everything?

i'll leave y'all with a story.... one that Jo mentioned to me this morning during out talk.... 

it's called:

THE EMPTY BIRD CAGE

There once was a man named George Thomas, pastor in a small New England town.  One Easter Sunday morning, he came to the Church carrying a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit.  Eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to speak…I was walking through town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird cage.  On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds, shivering with cold and fright .  I stopped the lad and asked, “What you got there, son?”  “Just some old birds,” came the reply.  “What are you gonna do with them?”  I asked.  “Take ‘em home and have fun with ‘em,” he answered. “I’m gonna tease ‘em and pull out their feathers to make ‘em fight.  I’m gonna have a real good time.”  “But, you’ll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do?”  ”Oh, I got some cats.” said the little boy.  “They like birds. I”ll take ‘em to them.”
The pastor was silent for a moment.  “How much do you want for those  birds, son?”  “Huh? Why, you don’t want them birds, mister. They’re just plain old field birds.  They don’t sing. They ain’t pretty.”  “How much?” the pastor asked again. The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, “$10?”  The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill.  He placed it in the boy’s hand. In a flash, the boy was gone.  The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot.  Setting the cage down, he opened the door, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free.  Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this story.  

  One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting.  “Yes sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait, knew they couldn’t resist. Got ‘em all.”  “What are you going to do with them?” Jesus asked.  Satan replied, “Oh, I’m gonna have fun. I’m gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse.  I’m gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other.  I”m really gonna have fun.” ”And what will you do when you get done with them?” Jesus asked. “Oh, I’ll kill ‘em,” Satan glared proudly.  “How much do you want for them?”  Jesus asked.
“Oh, you don’t want those people.  They ain’t no good. Why, you’ll take them and they’ll just hate you.  They’ll spit on you, curse you and kill you.  You don’t want those people.” 
“How much?”  He asked again.  Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, “All your blood, tears and your life.” Jesus said, “DONE.”  Then He paid the price.
The pastor picked up the cage he opened the door and he walked from the pulpit.

  God’s Word states it this way: “For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.” I Peter 1:18-19 

  “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”     John 3:16

  Jesus cried from the cross, “It is finished.”  He paid for our sins.  He became sin for us.  The price for our sins has been paid for. It is a done deal.  Accept the purchased price, Jesus the Christ and be saved.

(This story can be found here: The Birdcage)

::sigh::

Never take advantage of this grace, friends. 

I love y'all lots <3 <3

他复活了!!!

HE IS RISEN!!!!

Luke 24
1 Now on the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they, and certain other women with them, came to the tomb bringing the spices which they had prepared. 2 But they found the stone rolled away from the tomb. 3 Then they went in and did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. 4 And it happened, as they were greatly perplexed about this, that behold, two men stood by them in shining garments. 5 Then, as they were afraid and bowed their faces to the earth, they said to them, “Why do you seek the living among the dead? 6 He is not here, but is risen! Remember how He spoke to you when He was still in Galilee, 7 saying, ‘The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again.’”


8 And they remembered His words. 9 Then they returned from the tomb and told all these things to the eleven and to all the rest. 10 It was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the other women with them, who told these things to the apostles. 11 And their words seemed to them like idle tales, and they did not believe them. 12 But Peter arose and ran to the tomb; and stooping down, he saw the linen cloths lying by themselves; and he departed, marveling to himself at what had happened.
 
 


Love y'all lots and I hope you're having a wonderful Easter Weekend!!

<3 <3 <3

i love Thursdays (:

i really do love Thursdays!

see, my typical Thursday goes like this:

6:15 - wake up
7:30 - breakfast
8:00 - class #1
8:50 - class #2
9a-12p - office work
12:00 - LUNCH
12:50 - nap time
1:30 - class #3
2-3p - office hours
3-5pm - walk into town w/ kids to do some "reporting" (interviews)
5pm - off work.... usually go out to dinner w/ Jo :)
6:20 - 8:20 - Chinese lessons!
9:30pm - sing to the kids before their bedtime
10pm - jogging/workout
12pm - ??? - work on Slideshow for Fridays class :) :)


yup. so that's my Thursday in a nutshell!

however, this week's been even more hectic.

we're working on putting together thorough lesson plans for the future teachers and since i'm the only one who knows how to "work with the computer/WORD", i get assigned to do all the main formatting.

fun fun fun :)

so lesson planning for Easter week, perfecting old lessons, writing all of the lessons out word-for-word, working on Chinese lessons, trying to fit in some Spanish review (cuz i'm nutz like that), workin on plans for this fall (filling out FAFSA, writing essays, filling out applications, transferring credits, etc), running every evening (working for this half marathon in less than 90 days), sending letters, etc, etc, etc....

it's been an awesome week.

now it's lunch time ~ my favorite time of day!

and then it's off to nap time for mwa :) :)


prayer requests:

- health! lately i've been feeling rather sick and my knee's been giving me some trouble. pray that God would continue to give me energy and strength and that i would be able to get back to full health ASAP!
- time management! so that i can make sure i get many things done in the few months i have left here
- energy and SLEEP!! insomnia has been ruling my life and i just really need some good rest soon ~ ~
- Love <3  i never seem to have enough of it to go around.... and i want to have a God-sized heart.... so yes, pray that God would give me enough grace for me to truly LOVE those around me!!

ok. gotta bounce to lunch.

Love y'all much much much!!! <3 <3

Música

i love music.

a lot.

and those who know me, know that i almost *always* have music playing/earbuds in my ears.
(which i'm sure gets a little irritating when people are talking to me and realize 5 minutes later that i haven't heard a word they're saying cuz my earbuds were in :P )

but lately, God's been doing a lot in my heart as far as what i'm putting in my ears.

i tend to have a very wide range of "music appreciation" and sometimes, i forget that the lyrics (as catchy as they are), are NOT helping my mind or my walk with God.

now i'm not one of those ppls who just listens to songs cuz they've got a "catchy tune". if i fall in love w/ a song, it's because of the lyrics. and lately... i've found some songs w/ really REALLY amazing lyrics.... but i've also found many songs w/ not-so-amazing lyrics.

i tend to make the excuse that i'm only listening to those "other" songs when i'm exercising (cuz they have a quick beat and a catchy rhythm that's easy to jog to). However, even then, the tune/lyrics get stuck in my head and i find myself thinking about them throughout the day. :-\

Sooo.... yeah. pray for me as i try to get rid of some of the old junk in my music playlists and as i find some new and more "positive"(?) music :) :)

.... i think that's where i was going w/ that... :P

Oh, and some of my most recent favorite songs that you should check out (if you don't already have them):

The Listening (Lights)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYBoNV-OW84&feature=related

Sing me a Love Song (BarlowGirl)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9i3hnVSTci8

No Matter What (Kerrie Roberts)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OA3MSqufJP4

Tong Hua http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uuh_IfVtJ3M

Forever (Fireflight)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJ_QH1_mEg8


yup. that's it as far as this post goes ~ ~

Love y'all lots <3 <3

~me :)

thoughts on prayer

"Sometimes I'm a selfish fake

You're always a true friend

I don't deserve you

'Cause I'm not there for you

please forgive me again

I wanna be there for you,

someone you can come to

runs deeper than my bones

I wanna be there for you..."

[Flyleaf]

This is seriously the most played song on my ipod right now ~ Looooove it <3 

Anywho... this week was... good. it was hard, but it was good.

let's see.... we had a really well behaved group of kids.
it was funny actually.... we had two different schools.
one was quiet. very quiet. the other was very LOUD.
i can't help but love having two opposite groups like that and watch them get to the perfect medium as the week progresses! :D

this was also our week of training in our two newest teachers ~ Patty and Mandy.
my word.... God has given me the most perfectest team EVER!
patty is quiet and sweet ~ but she has her little sassy side.
Mandy... is like the Taiwanese version of me (according to Joyce) ~ she's already earned the title "Orange... #2" ;D hehehe

spiritually, this week was really hard. not gunna lie, quiet times for me don't happen nearly as often as i wish they would! however... God's grace and gentle little reminders never cease to amaze me.

i was actually observing one of Jo's classes (something that i LOVE doing, cuz she's such a cool teacher. she never forgets anything! ... and her Chinese is so darn cute) and i noticed one boy being a little more rowdy than the others. well... half way through the class, he raised his hand to answer one of the questions, she called on him, he got it correct, she praised him, and that was that. however... it amazed me, cuz after that he didn't take his eyes off of her/participated waaaay more. i shot up a quick prayer, asking God to use that kid in amazing ways in the future.... and then it dawned on me that i should pray for another kid... and another... and then i got really overwhelmed. there was sooo much i wanted to pray about for each of these kids.... and so much potential that they could have.... and yet.... [argh]. idk... i guess it never really hit me like that before. i really should be praying much more for each/all of my kids throughout the week! i KNOW that God can do amazing things through each of these kids and that He wants to do amazing things through all of them.... if only i could take some time out of my "busy schedule" to pray for them.

in fact... i don't pray nearly enough in general. and if i do... i rarely believe that God is actually going to "grant my request". i mean, i want Him too, and all that jazz.... but sometimes i don't think He will. and sometimes i'm scared that He will....  i've been reading through this book that my friend is letting me borrow. it's called "forgotten God" (yes, i'm still reading it... i'm a slow reader). Anywho... it's talking about how in Luke 11:13, Jesus says to His disciples, "if you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much MORE will the heavenly Father give the Holy spirit to those who ask Him?" Ahhhhhh!! I'm such a failure at believing/REMEMBERING that. i, personally, LOVE giving ppls gifts... kind of like i love getting gifts... only, i love giving them more because i not only feel good about it, but i love the expression of ppls faces as they get a little reminder that they are loved. and God's heart is like a-billion-trillion-gazillion(timez infinity) bigger than mine! so.... imagine w/ me now... how much MORE  must God LOVE giving gifts to us? and answering our prayers!!

i need to pray more. #fact.

i need to start believing that God does want the best for me... and that He not only has the power, but also the pleasure in providing for my every need!

honestly... the thought of this fall scares me... a lot.

God is totally changing my heart... and much as i love it... it scares me.
it's making me vulnerable... putting me legitly at the point where i'm going to have to "walk by faith".... and take each day one step at a time...
there are still so many things that are uncertain concerning this fall.
but even if i don't know what's all going down this fall... i can be confident that God will cover all my needs.
i have a big God... and His love constantly brings me to tears.... because i tend to fall so short... yet never far enough to fall out of His loving arms.

mmmm.... think that's all i had to say about that.

(btw, the worlds best post-running snack = my family's granola! it'z just that fab, it leaves you feeling satisfied and good about what you just ate!!)

Okay... other than that, a few more highlights from my week would be:

1) MY MOM IS COMING TO TAIWAN!!! praise the Lord! i've been waiting for the past 5 years for anyone from my family to come out and visit me over here... and now it's legitly happening! May 3 - May 9th me madre will be traveling Taiwan w/ me!! whoop whoop!

2) God is pulling me away from Nursing... and bringing me into a more "natural" health profession.... ((more detail on that when i get some))

3) Running is amazing and more people should do it! it gives a person more energy than an energy drink!!! (and less guilt) ;D



5) lots of traveling in the near future...

6) ONLY 3 MONTHS LEFT!!! ((camille's brain goes into shock)) praying that i make THE MOST out of every single moment i have here!!!!

.... and that's all for now folks!

Love y'all much <3 <3